Let Go to Grow
Posted by Onassis Krown on
Growth Requires Release: Why You Can’t Evolve While Carrying Old Versions of Yourself
Growth is often marketed as accumulation.
More knowledge.
More habits.
More skills.
More success.
More confidence.
But real growth—the kind that changes how you live, lead, and experience peace—rarely begins with addition.
It begins with release.
This is the part of growth that doesn’t photograph well.
It doesn’t come with applause.
It doesn’t feel like progress at first.
In fact, it often feels like loss.
And that’s why so many people stall—not because they lack ambition or discipline, but because they’re trying to evolve while still carrying versions of themselves that no longer belong to who they’re becoming.
Why Growth Feels Heavy Instead of Expansive
If growth feels exhausting instead of energizing, something is usually being carried that should have been set down.
Old beliefs.
Expired identities.
Outgrown roles.
Protective patterns that once made sense—but now restrict movement.
People often say they want change, yet unconsciously cling to familiarity. Not because it’s good—but because it’s known.
The weight you feel isn’t the work of becoming.
It’s the burden of not letting go.
The Myth of “Leveling Up” Without Letting Go
Modern self-improvement culture loves the language of “leveling up.”
But very few talk about what must be left behind at each level.
You cannot step into a new chapter while insisting on keeping:
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Old coping mechanisms
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Old self-concepts
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Old emotional armor
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Old definitions of safety
Every evolution demands a shedding.
Nature understands this instinctively.
Humans resist it endlessly.
Why We Hold Onto Old Versions of Ourselves
Letting go isn’t hard because we don’t know how.
It’s hard because we know what it costs.
1. Identity Attachment
Even painful identities offer certainty.
“I’m the one who struggles.”
“I’m the one who sacrifices.”
“I’m the strong one.”
“I’m the overlooked one.”
These identities shape how others relate to us—and how we relate to ourselves.
Releasing them means stepping into the unknown.
2. Emotional Loyalty
Sometimes we remain loyal to past versions out of respect for what they endured.
“I survived because of this version.”
“If I let it go, was it all for nothing?”
But honoring the past does not require living there.
3. Fear of Disappointment
Growth changes how you show up—and not everyone will adjust.
Releasing an old self may disappoint those who benefited from your limitations.
And that fear is powerful.
The Grief No One Warns You About
There is grief in growth.
Not dramatic grief—but subtle mourning.
You grieve:
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Who you thought you would be by now
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The relationships that can’t follow you forward
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The comfort of familiar struggle
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The innocence of not knowing better
This grief is rarely acknowledged, yet deeply human.
If you don’t make space for it, you’ll unconsciously resist growth to avoid feeling it.
Letting go doesn’t mean denying the pain.
It means allowing it to pass without building a home inside it.
Old Beliefs Are the Heaviest Luggage
Beliefs shape behavior—but outdated beliefs quietly sabotage evolution.
Beliefs like:
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“This is just how I am.”
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“I can’t change at this age.”
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“If I rest, I’m falling behind.”
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“If I succeed, I’ll lose connection.”
These beliefs once protected you.
Now they confine you.
The mind will defend familiar beliefs even when they cause suffering—because familiarity feels safer than freedom.
Growth demands a new agreement with truth.
Why You Can’t Take Everyone With You
One of the hardest truths of evolution is this:
Not everyone can come with you.
Some people are connected to who you were—not who you’re becoming.
That doesn’t make them bad.
It makes them aligned with a previous chapter.
Trying to evolve while maintaining every old dynamic is like trying to renovate a house without moving any furniture.
Something has to shift.
Boundaries are not betrayals.
They are structural supports for growth.
Release Is Not Rejection
Many people delay growth because they equate release with rejection.
Letting go of an old self does not mean:
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You failed
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You were wrong
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You wasted time
It means:
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You learned
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You adapted
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You outgrew the container
Children outgrow clothes—not because the clothes were bad, but because growth happened.
The same is true of identities.
Signs You’re Carrying an Old Version of Yourself
Sometimes release doesn’t announce itself clearly. It shows up subtly.
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You feel drained doing things that once energized you
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You feel resistance where there used to be flow
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You explain yourself more than you used to
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You feel split between who you are and who you present
These are not signs of failure.
They are invitations to shed.
What Letting Go Actually Looks Like
Release is rarely dramatic.
It often looks like:
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Saying no without explanation
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Allowing silence instead of over-justifying
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Choosing rest without guilt
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Changing routines that no longer fit
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No longer arguing with people committed to misunderstanding you
Release is quiet.
But its impact is profound.
The Courage to Disappoint
Growth almost always requires disappointing someone—sometimes even yourself.
You may disappoint:
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The version of you that was proud of endurance at all costs
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The people who relied on your overextension
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The identity that thrived on being needed
But disappointment is temporary.
Self-abandonment lasts much longer.
You are allowed to evolve beyond roles that require your depletion.
Why Holding On Feels Safer Than Moving Forward
Staying the same offers predictable pain.
Growth offers uncertain relief.
And the nervous system prefers predictable pain over unfamiliar freedom.
This is why people return to old habits under stress—not because they want them, but because they recognize them.
Release requires retraining the nervous system to trust expansion.
Space Is the Reward of Release
When you let go, something unexpected happens:
Space appears.
Mental space.
Emotional space.
Energetic space.
This space isn’t emptiness—it’s capacity.
Capacity for:
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New insight
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Deeper peace
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Healthier relationships
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Clearer purpose
But if your hands are full of old versions, there’s nowhere for the new to land.
Growth Is Not Becoming Someone Else
Letting go doesn’t erase you.
It reveals you.
What falls away are the adaptations—not the essence.
The real you remains when:
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You stop performing survival roles
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You stop shrinking to stay accepted
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You stop carrying identities that cost your health
Growth refines—it does not replace.
The Loneliness of Transition
There is often a quiet loneliness during release.
You’re no longer who you were.
You’re not yet fully who you’re becoming.
This in-between can feel disorienting.
But it is also sacred.
It is the cocoon phase—where transformation happens out of sight.
Rushing this phase only delays integration.
Trusting the Version That’s Emerging
You may not fully recognize the version of you that’s forming.
That’s okay.
Growth often precedes familiarity.
Trust is built through small acts of alignment:
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Choosing honesty over approval
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Choosing rest over overwork
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Choosing truth over comfort
Each aligned choice strengthens the new identity.
A Final Reflection
You don’t need to become more to grow.
You need to carry less.
Less fear.
Less obligation.
Less outdated identity.
Less emotional armor.
What you release makes room for what you’re meant to embody.
Growth is not about adding another layer.
It’s about shedding what no longer fits.
And when you finally let go of who you had to be to survive, you make space for who you are meant to be—fully, freely, and without apology.
Lateef Warnick is the founder of Onassis Krown. He currently serves as a Senior Healthcare Consultant in the Jacksonville FL area and is a Certified Life Coach, Marriage Counselor, Keynote Speaker and Author of "Know Thyself," "The Golden Egg" and "Wear Your Krown." He is also a former Naval Officer, Licensed Financial Advisor, Insurance Agent, Realtor, Serial Entrepreneur and musical artist A.L.I.A.S.
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